The dress is picked and already hanging in my closet, accumulating filipino smells.
Of course I love it. But I wasn't always sure about it.
I've said this to anyone willing to listen to my crazy worries about my dress. I just wasn't sure. I love it, but felt anxiety over it. I can't put my finger on it. I think it might the cost. Or it might be the fact that Mikey didn't help me pick it out at all. Trust me I tried. I begged Mikey to take a look at it after I already bought it, but he refused like a gentlemen. He wants to be surprised. Another reminder of why I love him so much, he's a romantic.
My thoughts on dress shopping.
-Shop by yourself for awhile or you will be seduced into what other people love on you. Just try stuff on without the slightest intention of buying.
-Figure out what style you like before bringing the friends and moms along.
-Set a strict budget and stick to it! Dresses can get up there in the numbers real fast, so be real with yourself about how much your comfortable spending. Really think about how much your putting down on a dress your only gonna wear once, but think about forever.
-Pick something special. Do you really want to pick a dress that is so now and everyone is wearing it?
-Pick something that is you. Classic, modern, vintage, trendy, intricate, simple, romantic, sexy, etc.
As for me, Cousin Christine categorized me as "classic, with a bit of non-traditional." I'd categorize my normal attire as masculine shlumpy (always with a man's over sized something), but I don't think I could pull off a man's button down with a gown bottom this time.
So all of those thoughts are all well and good, but here's the problem:
For one, I probably could have shopped forever for my dress. There's just too many options out there! Put three dresses in front of me and I'll pick my favorite out of the three, no problem. But put an infinite amount of dresses in front of me, and I'll second guess my choice a million times and want to see every dress out there. So doing it in three trips was kind of fast for me (shopped once in Longview, Washington; Portland, Oregon; and San Francisco, California).
Now I understand why some people have stylists.
Secondly, not having my right hand man along to help me made me extremely insecure about my choice, and I was constantly second guessing whether he would like it or not. Would he like it? Would he think I was ridiculous, which has happened more than once when I tried walking out of the house in something too Vogue.
Thirdly, I was with my mom and Mikey's mom. I'm not saying they have terrible taste or anything, not at all. But what they pictured me in and what I pictured me in weren't always the same thing. They loved some dresses I felt luke warm about and they were so so on some dresses that I loved.
Their opinions on the dress I did get? In a word, forced. Like their "it's so beautiful on you" didn't seem as genuine as "it's so beautiful on you" with the dress I knew they wanted me to get. But they were very kind, they just wanted me to be happy. And I was happiest in the dress I got, I just didn't feel so comfortable with my decision after their luke warm reception of it. So that feeling and doubt kind of stuck with me until I picked up my dress.
It's pretty sad, and I would probably never admit it out loud in real life, but I really needed some kind of validation for my dress choice. I needed someone to ooo and ahhh over my dress and tell me it's so me with some genuine enthusiasm. I just didn't get that from the few people I showed my dress to.
It wasn't until after I tried my dress on for my maid of honor, my best friend since the second grade, Gabbie Cruz, that I got the appropriate enthusiasm I needed to forget about the so so reception by the moms. She said everything I needed to hear about it. And that was it, anxiety gone.
I told Mikey that Gabbie told me everything I needed to hear about it and he seemed pleased. Pleased that he no longer had to hear about my dress wah wah obsession.
-Jenny
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