One year has gone by since I tied the knot to a Mr. Michael Morales. Back in September, I reported that our married life is pretty much the same as our dating life, and not much has changed. So why get married? It wasn't a money thing, I can't even tell you the difference between my taxes now and before we got married. And it's not a legal thing, we have nothing to legally fight over if we split except Nathan, and married or not, legal stuff would ensue if we were to split. So the question is why then? My answer?
This is honestly why I wanted to get married, and is still how I reasoned my desire to get married:
If legal marriage is the way you can show the one you love that you love them the most and want everyone to know that you love them that much, then I wanted to marry Mikey.
If that doesn't make sense, let me clarify.
You know how some people get promotions, but their job doesn't change? It's like that. It's tangible proof that the people around you, your superiors and possibly your equals depending on if there is a peer review, know and believe that you are doing a great job and want to show you that they appreciate your hard work and that you deserve a higher status so that everyone else will instantly know you're good. That's what marriage is to me.
The big wedding that goes along with getting married is just a way to get people happily through celebrating you and your love of each other. Makes sense why some people hate weddings, because it can get very self congratulatory very fast. "Look at what we have and how great our lives are!!!" BLEH! But I've noticed that the most enjoyable weddings to attend, the ones where you can't hate the bride and groom no matter how cheesy things get, are those that are insanely genuine. You can just look at that bride and groom and see the love that they have for each other, and yes, their wedding day and marriage means exactly what I believe it to mean. A way to show the person you have chosen to marry that you love them the most and you want everyone to know it.
When I call Mikey my husband, I have just designated that I love him the most to people that may not know that.
And this is why it means something to me that gay/lesbian/transgender people should have the right to legally marry their spouse. They grew up with the same understanding of marriage as me (assuming), and to not let them get married is taking away a way for them to show their love for their favorite person. It's discrimination. Would you be able to deny a promotion of an outstanding worker based on a lifestyle choice you did not agree with? No, that would be illegal. And that's why denying a gay/lesbian/transgender person from getting married to the person they love is so wrong and should be illegal.
And divorce carries the same opposite meaning to me. It's about showing the world that the person you are divorcing is no longer your favorite person. And that I understand. It happens, and I'm very sympathetic. Everyone should be allowed to marry and divorce as they see fit.
I'm not sure how I got to this point in my post, but my initial intention was to say, happy first wedding anniversary to me and Mikey. Nothing has changed, and I'm glad.
Jenny
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